THe NotebOOk
Friday, February 05, 2010
  waltz in the rainshine

lightly misting on my face
is the storm coming or going?
in this condition the droplets dance
can't go traipsing through that work.
the harder it falls
the easier to tiptoe
around the moisture dampening our lives
or does it bring life?
shall we dance between the raindrops
or waltz in the rainshine?
 
Friday, January 29, 2010
  inquisite

i think i'll ask permission
i know you'll find it weird
just trying to avoid what
everybody's feared
unsure of what your feelings
want to say to me
unsure because the distance
lays between you and me

and every time we
talk together
can't explain it
so i ask

is it ok if i love you?
the meaning is swimming in haze
is it ok if i love you
regardless if you feel the same?

not looking for your hand
but not a foreign thought
and that's the sort of problem
you may not have sought
something like the way a
knight has his maiden
a time when just to love
was admired not a sin

but every time we
talk together
can't explain it
so i ask

is it ok if i love you?
the meaning is swimming in haze
is it ok if i love you
regardless if you feel the same?

funny how it works this way
hide emotion in the fray
it's not sudden but unforeseen
taking chance on a distant fling
 
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
  one (1)

tell me, when the dreams go black
does it mean it's over?
are all my aspirations motion picture shows?
and how those come and go...

believe me when i say i've tried
don't leave me far behind
the losses taken all in stride
for the love of one

i tell you now, i'm sorry: i failed to comfort you
gave you crimson-colored glasses
i couldn't have you chasing after things
when they are not as they seem

you don't believe me because you've never tried
just digested the sweet lies
never losing leaves you soft inside
for the love of one
 
Monday, December 28, 2009
 

look from the window
down from the window
outside the window
out from the window

he bites his lip to hold his tongue
the silly things that have been done
remember all the times before
she said she couldn't love him more

he bites his lip to dam the tears
the truth has realized his fears
some people never change their ways
breathing hate and love the same way

but why does he feel he must justify himself
to judge the fairness of moving on?
when he found to regain an emotion once shared
with the girl in the window

he bites his lip to stay the rage
because their minds don't accept change
although the anger's justified
knows the heat just fuels the problems pride

he bites his lip to stop the laughter
look ahead to the next chapter
without regret he looks ahead
and to the future gladly rests his head
 
Monday, December 21, 2009
 

some days the constant buzz
rumbles underneath the skin
those day it might win
i find the life beyond the whim
it's living too thin
these days it might win

come closer dear
come re-live the fear
come don't mind the mess
i leave behind
i know where everything is

try to make amends with empty words
conversation makes the feeling worse
i search
for ways to let the notion go
"put on a happy face" you know?
i don't keep masks on my shelf

remind me why i'm not gone again
 
Monday, December 14, 2009
 

only a piece of me
was left relieved
when, finally, you chose
to run away
from what we thought was good
but happy thoughts
don't sooth the pain/hurt
that left me sleeping
at home alone
and you're bringing it back again

every step away
you run in close
like stalking your prey
find the most remote
way to keep a tether tied
around me

should i think it flattering
to find it's still
awkward feeling, so much
when i'm just being civil?
you should know that the piece of me
is no longer free
for the games that you play:
let go, let me love again
in peace

ask me to look at the pictures
call me to hang with your friends
not til you make clear your motives
it seems you want me to love you again
 
Thursday, August 20, 2009
  glimmer

a glimmer of hope
in a facade of happiness
someone to help
on the shore of confidence
in nothing but shells
of plastic princesses
you're willing to wash them away

look how they roll
bombard you with everything
see in their eyes
won't appreciate anything
done with your heart
just another grain
of the ever-blowing sand
it's a waste of time

as you see the arcs of those below
looking to fly with the way
riding cleanly on the surface
only soaring coz you found a way

[they'll] find a new rule
that will hold us in order
 
Monday, May 04, 2009
 

am i wrong to want to hold your hand?
am i wrong to think no master plan
should affect my sensibilities?
you're always where i want to be

search for the words that'll never make sense
just not enough, only pennies and pence
enough in it countenece, enough in my mind
but it's something simple, not broken, it's clear

am i criminal to find you lovely and keen?
am i criminal to see you in my dreams
even though the time we've spent is short?
you're the girl i'd like to court
 
Saturday, April 25, 2009
  #16

i - can't stop yet
i - won't forget
we've just begun

sitting where the time becomes the truth eating my bones
dying here unknowing falling through obscurity
looking through glass shining me reflecting what was past
while shielding me from present themes affect simplicity

can't live waiting for the sun
only option is to run

becoming a waiter
another to say
"i've nothing to offer you"
you lay in wait
your hesitation
demoralizes the world
if you don't move
ten why should i?
it's on your hands when they all pass away -
 
Monday, March 30, 2009
  seconds

sometimes a fleeting moment
captures my fingers
it goes on forgotten
never to have its sound
grace my ears once again.
the smooth conversation
we never had
but are remembered for more
clearly as the brook
that shimmers, shimmy
through the windy livelihood
dependent on its continuing
rushing on. like everything
we live for now
becoming past in motion
smiling as we go on
believing seconds last
forever.
 
 

You tell me to swing it
You know the way it goes
You've seen this lick before
Yeah, most everybody knows

But i expand the boundaries
But i won't play this game
The rules are most beleaguered
And end results the same

Nobody's going nowhere
Nobody's someones son
The daughter of anybody
Who could be anyone

The truth is what moves forward
The truth is it won't end
it isn't dissapearing
More lively than the wind
 
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
 

another rainy day
we got mixed up in the pain
the journey to the toil
a man repairs his walker
in the middle of the street
but we drive on
up the way
beyond the lights
seen through the grey
compliment the indecision
 
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
 

my mind is refracted
can't seem to collect myself
leaves my care although determined
in a state of disarray
reach for the bottle
to slow down the change
all is temporary
forsake to find where grace is given
when i know it's only there
that my head can hit the pillow
and slow the rolling stone
 
Friday, January 16, 2009
 

etch your/my heart into the sun
unravel what won't come undone
wear cold shoulders in your sleeve
we will give no one reprieve
dasvadanya there's no grade
for the monstrous tides we wade
in the murky depths we ride
out of the darkness, we can't hide

stitch your/my mind amongst the stars
live beyond their forced par
cement existence within glass
crying out "i'll never pass"
when all the while. looking hard,
time was wasted, no regard
for your hope, everything you need
to not get by on naught but greed

wrap your/my soul around the moon
our satellite that shows her wounds
in beauty that been ever praised
alight to all the faults we razed
emmaculate, destroy our youth
and say, "it's wasted, more vermooth"
never thinking what it could be
to show yourself in company
 
Thursday, October 16, 2008
 

i've been focused on the start for days
plenty of time to set me in motion
motion, ocean
the tide rides high and low
pulling me out to sea, foundation
a crushing blow

see as she speaks
she tells, retreats

alone, knowing the way of the
world, praying to change the
mold, our lives fit into
unknown, taking a chance in
faith, believing we could be
more, or something better

i've been dreaming so big they can speak
in colors of strength so that they spill over
over an' over
into the life that i lead
feel the embrace of a world born into
a perfect shoe

see as she speaks
she tells, retreats

but do you dream in shades of grey?
or put off living what they say?
leaves you feeling broken
in the life you have chosen
visions came to you
knowing what you do

alone, knowing the way of the
world, praying to change the
mold, our lives fit into
unknown, taking a chance in
faith, believing we could be
more, or something better
 
Saturday, September 20, 2008
  adelaide

the white cursor blinks
on my mind is a stage
all performers alight
they're a hit, it's a rage
come in ringing the bell
knowing we've got it made
sing the chorus so full
"Adelaide, Adelaide"

Adelaide make your mark
with the world on a string
pull the tether so tight
to destroy others dreams
and their lives not to own
but to you they're for sale
Adelaide, you're a product of we

all is red, black, and white
brown and yellow make green
come to play in the attic
never will make a scene
cut the action, take six
miss the point in the fade
zone a mark, it's for failure
Adelaide, Adelaide
 
Thursday, September 11, 2008
 

scantily-clad in accessory
filling the lines with hipocracy
the color it makes only fakes the shape
marking time in the parking lot
order it up with a double-shot
we engulf the world we won't escape

if this is life
then let me out
tug on the strings
untie the knot
keeping us scared
so we won't look
the life they make
will fall apart
 
Thursday, August 28, 2008
 

Awaken to the real world
meet and greet and say 'hello'
realize it's not so cold
realize it when you're old
Like a child, smell the emptiness outside
but don't care to understand
just know it is -
acknowledges -
Yes, by running free; never tell a lie:
remove another's, preserve your liberty
rock-a-by don't ever stop
keep your home you hear "chop"
Chop your Lockes and give me death
wash the hands that stand abreast
andante raise upon the stand
the lives of all that claim the land
risk your lives for no mans soul
not even righteousness can persevere
Building emptiness in the sand
failing to meet life's demand
Awaken to the real world
meet and greet and say 'hello'
you've never met; wish you'd been told
to realize before you're old
 
Thursday, August 07, 2008
  Sleeper

i'm so tired of feeling low
i've become an unknown
sown below the depths of soul
has grown tired; will work no more

i sing myself to sleep
i lull the night by me
the darkness streams through every bit of light
it's on me to wake up

with my mind i see the wrongs
the debts we pay are forced upon
our very needs have come undone
the few that rule keep us apart

i sing myself to sleep
i lull the night by me
the darkness screams through every bit of light
it's on me to wake up
 
Friday, July 25, 2008
 

Quiet Now
i've fallen prey to sleep
silent now
my body is the keep
holding me
the things remain unseen
Quiet Now

Satellite
play my favorite tune
every night
closer to the moon
spots of white
engulf the evening soon
Satellite
 
Friday, June 27, 2008
 

When all the world escapes me
i just pull up a chair
listen to the space between
and realize that's what i need
in the void i hear the noises
what i feign to listen to
in the everyday anyway
just trying to get by
Complacent, apathetic
to the never-changing all around
never notice, never see
the spark that becomes
When reading looks like a game
seeing more than black on white
but spectrum in eternity
alights upon my head
look for what it means
when it's just circles
finding the constant center-piece

All the time that i've spent here
been staring at the sun
until i sit and take the time
something i'll never know
only when we realize we're blind
can we ever choose to see
 
Thursday, May 29, 2008
 

We are too stuck up to think that things could be better here for everyone;
We are too stuck up to think that it should be or is us that need to begin the move towards change;
We are too stuck up to consider multiple solutions to the same problems we see;
We are too stuck up to share credit where credit is due;
We are too stuck up to respect or accept anothers point of view;

rinse...

repeat.

 
Thursday, May 22, 2008
 

I took a walk beside myself out in the rain
we chatted closely; sang the songs that slip away
Myself apologized for lack of words to say
the silence slapped my face
but i don't blame it on the rain

We carry fortitude the likes no man has seen
including us, you see, we know not what it means
the gray surrounding us - a new relentless blend
so hard to see the right
but i don't blame it on the rain
 
Thursday, May 15, 2008
  on nukes and lard

America the bountiful
won't share with any man
how much any one life worth
not pennies in their hand
many learn not growing wise
listening to dirty, dirty lies

America the plentiful
hoards all they take away
from 'assets' they've protected
and they take over and stay
told to never trust the truth
no need for proof, no need for proof

their lies are not our own
don't relieve your righteous disbelief
on those who'll understand -
we're doing what we can

America the copious
"God shed His grace on thee"
not a care for all of US
between the "shining seas"
this generation's lost the 'why'
finding bliss in living daily lies

listen hard to all the fluff
that's all there ever is
America the beautiful
the poorest of the rich
told to never trust the truth
no need for proof, no need for proof

throw that love your way
it works like hand-grenades
land it somewhere near
works in spite of fear

your war is not with us
 
Thursday, April 03, 2008
  once a gain again

you're coming alive
is this what you expected?
it's taking the truth away from me
i'm sorry that now it is my time to go
i'm sorry that now i have to leave

but i try
and i fail
when i can
i will

well i'm back again
i stack again the road-blocks in my skull
between the ears lay aches and pain
and lies that bring me
closer to life
or so i believe

fall off track again
we crack minds to feel less crazy
insanity denies the truth
of what we have become
to life
and this i believe

there i go should'n
on the situation
 
Thursday, March 20, 2008
 

new thought for the hungry
tired, poor, and thirsty:
all of humankind
striving lives unknown
to center an being
a product of economy
struggling to work
with old practices
that should be dead
destroying new life
breaking through to see light
for moments too short
for mere remembrance
 
 

what happened to Stephen?
only nine years old
as seen on black suburban
by God, please rest in peace.
 
Thursday, March 06, 2008
 

i'm singing on a cake
with chamomile iced tea
sweep the asphalt with a rake
makes no difference to me
Jenny's moving 'round a Chen
naked man inside his house
windows always open when
big eyes don't miss little mouse

rendevous et nous allons
whisper deep thoughts the day long
everything from Peggy Sue
to Buddy, Holly, oddly you

walking backwards in the rain
simple cuts across the field
we find the lake and jump again
there found two oranges keeled
rainbow monkeys take the pitch
the cricket bowls for once
Jenny her part as a witch
and i the froggy dunce

rendevous et nous allons
whisper deep thoughts the day long
everything from Peggy Sue
to Buddy, Holly, oddly you

Chen is running fairly close
somewhere in talking trees
what they say, Jenny knows:
"we've got roots below the knees"
trying not to break mom's back
hop scotch-drinking tunes
our lives are not rail tracks
we don't dance with the loons

rendevous et nous allons
whisper deep thoughts the day long
everything from Peggy Sue
to Buddy, Holly, oddly you
 
  Marylou

hey girl, i was told
little birdies 'round my head
they know all the books you've read
told me i should be diggin' you
so i'm here to let you know
caught your fever and i'm wrapped up
like this gift, see i'm not tough
so let me go your way with you

i've found the girl to cultivate
see, my love, you'll be my mate
take the time to make you mine
make my soul to match your mind

hey babe, i'm so sure
little whispers make me blind
nothing more could dare take time
time away from lovin' your every move
if not for all the bills to pay
that office job with time point five
there's no way to love when not alive
Marylou, can you love what's not alive?
 
Thursday, February 21, 2008
 

removed and disillusioned
come and play the fair
we share we share we share
the words won't come again

high on sugar sweet
caffeine our new drug
won't do coke with cola
might make you fat again

wander round the corner
check your pulse no meds
could bring you back tomorrow
proclaimed dead again
 
Thursday, February 14, 2008
 

the two walk in the door
a lady sitting, waiting
a cool breeze settles in
among the taps, the shakes, the pours

stand up and walk around
the corner's a little quieter
she's running late but needs
a bit and soon he's back again

so pensive concentrating
top 100 on the drums
wishful thinking
hours to come
making best of hours gone

countless minutes
counting cars in the glass room
mindless chatter gets them though
waiting, weightless
writing wait less
sitting on the floor
 
Saturday, January 26, 2008
 

talking high on the horse
just dots and line, Samuel Morse
the language simple to your ears
confirms the failures and the fears
you're counting saves like a closer
and He won't see you any older
just a baby in His arms
can the preaching, there's no charm
left to make it on your own
failing life, it's not your own
 
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
 

the canary died
and i want out.
 
Monday, January 07, 2008
 

rediscovr'y takes the best of my time
it's the best of me every nickel every dime
here's the fade away leaving nothing here behind
look another way

why with me?
gave yourself to me but turned around
a different face to see
one like no one before
makes me wonder at you
small wonder at you

red anger
jealously becoming me
sarcastic apathy
is the feeling you should see
enduring more when you find that it's not care
it's the reasons why
will you reason why
 
Monday, December 17, 2007
  Cane Cola

come on, let yourself go
every thought begins to tell a story told
so we
move along from me
and we...

let's go, excavate your soul
clean the spiderwebs, the pressure-hidden goals
so they
can see all and stay
and they...

take away this 'freedom'
it causes too much pain
life is cold and real
to suffer is to gain
your freedom takes my love away
- from you

breath out suck in
merely seconds in
penetrate this fragile shell
impetuous disintegration
 
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
 

turn off the red light
and start again
another chance
take two begin
can't run away
it's far, you see
i can't believe what's happening

action, go
begin the scene
around you life
is happening
two turns away
to break you fall
wonder why He tries at all

take the time
for all it seems
the great I Am
is who you see
don't think the cause
is ever new
the earth is round
our lives are, too.
 
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
 

can media take their hands off self consciousness?
just leave us to our own
realize we're not alone
let us make our own decisions
remind us that we're loved
no matter what divides us
insignificant but loud
makes the most immoral proud
keeping all the heads and faces
looking squarely at the ground
always moving to the next one
everyday, everyday
never pause to realize
it's mundane
'till it's too late
 
Thursday, October 25, 2007
  globe

pieces of what you though you were
falling from the sky
landing on my thigh
i pick you up
and it's nothing, disappears

the star is red again
perceptions wearing thin
so clogged with bits of you
materialistic view

sadly it but yet appears
life repeats, new souls are here
wishing for a bluer true
not gray in my rear view

but i guess this is how it snows

natural infection
take you by surprise
form pieces of who you though you were
falling from the sky

well i hope it's not you
 
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
  descending up stairs

can you hear my motor hum
with anxiety
for the truth was never told?
taking lives so far away
never managing
to just care for you own

your policies
show priorities that need to be in checks and balances
are failing to produce results
that i and fellow man
can believe in too much longer
the fear is ever stronger
and you should be afraid

so come on down
the price is wrong
for fat pockets
their faces long
have-nots rejoice
the time is nigh
we have a voice
so hear our cry

can you see my motor hum
standing at the door
place where confidence consumes
claiming rights beyond your own
just a cowboy
wrangle up some terror lies

throw your broken hearts
and caskets in the back
 
Thursday, August 30, 2007
  watashi wa

i am
part of the evolution
revolution
songs
said to be complicated
underrated
wrongs
built on the old traditions
reminiscing
all
we long to be free

looking through our current hell
penetrate its fragile shell

take time
find all you reservations
excavate the
Lot
one who survived destruction
of his environs
run
become the dastard people
bastardize your
right
the wrongs

it's tearing me apart
you take away my heart
you're tearing me apart
you knew it from the start
to liven up again
more than flesh and bone, my friend
with this cup i take my fill
and will start a new trend
 
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
 

flow, like water from an Everyman's brow
salt is sweet today
home, to die alone again stuck in Everyman's Rhone
swim the other way

living dreams again
in a place where justice never takes the load
on the phone again
with a man who's dreams just never took hold

always cruel enough to alway speak alone
taking everything so nothing will atone
never ran, never broke the sacred code
find you own man; the one inside you...

close, all the doors that lead the get away
it's what's forgotten
Jove, hasn't left you but your spirit's gone cold
it's an empty road
 
poetry, song, and simple words that may never make it off of the writers page and into the world

where you came from
(or are going)

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