THe NotebOOk

waltz in the rainshine

2010-02-05T10:28:00.000-08:00

lightly misting on my face
is the storm coming or going?
in this condition the droplets dance
can't go traipsing through that work.
the harder it falls
the easier to tiptoe
around the moisture dampening our lives
or does it bring life?
shall we dance between the raindrops
or waltz in the rainshine?

inquisite

2010-01-29T09:17:00.000-08:00

i think i'll ask permission
i know you'll find it weird
just trying to avoid what
everybody's feared
unsure of what your feelings
want to say to me
unsure because the distance
lays between you and me

and every time we
talk together
can't explain it
so i ask

is it ok if i love you?
the meaning is swimming in haze
is it ok if i love you
regardless if you feel the same?

not looking for your hand
but not a foreign thought
and that's the sort of problem
you may not have sought
something like the way a
knight has his maiden
a time when just to love
was admired not a sin

but every time we
talk together
can't explain it
so i ask

is it ok if i love you?
the meaning is swimming in haze
is it ok if i love you
regardless if you feel the same?

funny how it works this way
hide emotion in the fray
it's not sudden but unforeseen
taking chance on a distant fling

one (1)

2010-01-27T19:10:00.000-08:00

tell me, when the dreams go black
does it mean it's over?
are all my aspirations motion picture shows?
and how those come and go...

believe me when i say i've tried
don't leave me far behind
the losses taken all in stride
for the love of one

i tell you now, i'm sorry: i failed to comfort you
gave you crimson-colored glasses
i couldn't have you chasing after things
when they are not as they seem

you don't believe me because you've never tried
just digested the sweet lies
never losing leaves you soft inside
for the love of one

2009-12-28T09:57:00.000-08:00

look from the window
down from the window
outside the window
out from the window

he bites his lip to hold his tongue
the silly things that have been done
remember all the times before
she said she couldn't love him more

he bites his lip to dam the tears
the truth has realized his fears
some people never change their ways
breathing hate and love the same way

but why does he feel he must justify himself
to judge the fairness of moving on?
when he found to regain an emotion once shared
with the girl in the window

he bites his lip to stay the rage
because their minds don't accept change
although the anger's justified
knows the heat just fuels the problems pride

he bites his lip to stop the laughter
look ahead to the next chapter
without regret he looks ahead
and to the future gladly rests his head

2009-12-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

some days the constant buzz
rumbles underneath the skin
those day it might win
i find the life beyond the whim
it's living too thin
these days it might win

come closer dear
come re-live the fear
come don't mind the mess
i leave behind
i know where everything is

try to make amends with empty words
conversation makes the feeling worse
i search
for ways to let the notion go
"put on a happy face" you know?
i don't keep masks on my shelf

remind me why i'm not gone again

2009-12-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

only a piece of me
was left relieved
when, finally, you chose
to run away
from what we thought was good
but happy thoughts
don't sooth the pain/hurt
that left me sleeping
at home alone
and you're bringing it back again

every step away
you run in close
like stalking your prey
find the most remote
way to keep a tether tied
around me

should i think it flattering
to find it's still
awkward feeling, so much
when i'm just being civil?
you should know that the piece of me
is no longer free
for the games that you play:
let go, let me love again
in peace

ask me to look at the pictures
call me to hang with your friends
not til you make clear your motives
it seems you want me to love you again

glimmer

2009-08-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

a glimmer of hope
in a facade of happiness
someone to help
on the shore of confidence
in nothing but shells
of plastic princesses
you're willing to wash them away

look how they roll
bombard you with everything
see in their eyes
won't appreciate anything
done with your heart
just another grain
of the ever-blowing sand
it's a waste of time

as you see the arcs of those below
looking to fly with the way
riding cleanly on the surface
only soaring coz you found a way

[they'll] find a new rule
that will hold us in order

2009-05-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

am i wrong to want to hold your hand?
am i wrong to think no master plan
should affect my sensibilities?
you're always where i want to be

search for the words that'll never make sense
just not enough, only pennies and pence
enough in it countenece, enough in my mind
but it's something simple, not broken, it's clear

am i criminal to find you lovely and keen?
am i criminal to see you in my dreams
even though the time we've spent is short?
you're the girl i'd like to court

#16

2009-04-25T14:55:00.000-07:00

i - can't stop yet
i - won't forget
we've just begun

sitting where the time becomes the truth eating my bones
dying here unknowing falling through obscurity
looking through glass shining me reflecting what was past
while shielding me from present themes affect simplicity

can't live waiting for the sun
only option is to run

becoming a waiter
another to say
"i've nothing to offer you"
you lay in wait
your hesitation
demoralizes the world
if you don't move
ten why should i?
it's on your hands when they all pass away -

seconds

2009-03-30T14:50:00.000-07:00

sometimes a fleeting moment
captures my fingers
it goes on forgotten
never to have its sound
grace my ears once again.
the smooth conversation
we never had
but are remembered for more
clearly as the brook
that shimmers, shimmy
through the windy livelihood
dependent on its continuing
rushing on. like everything
we live for now
becoming past in motion
smiling as we go on
believing seconds last
forever.

2009-03-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

You tell me to swing it
You know the way it goes
You've seen this lick before
Yeah, most everybody knows

But i expand the boundaries
But i won't play this game
The rules are most beleaguered
And end results the same

Nobody's going nowhere
Nobody's someones son
The daughter of anybody
Who could be anyone

The truth is what moves forward
The truth is it won't end
it isn't dissapearing
More lively than the wind

2009-03-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

another rainy day
we got mixed up in the pain
the journey to the toil
a man repairs his walker
in the middle of the street
but we drive on
up the way
beyond the lights
seen through the grey
compliment the indecision

2009-02-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

my mind is refracted
can't seem to collect myself
leaves my care although determined
in a state of disarray
reach for the bottle
to slow down the change
all is temporary
forsake to find where grace is given
when i know it's only there
that my head can hit the pillow
and slow the rolling stone

2009-01-16T19:29:00.000-08:00

etch your/my heart into the sun
unravel what won't come undone
wear cold shoulders in your sleeve
we will give no one reprieve
dasvadanya there's no grade
for the monstrous tides we wade
in the murky depths we ride
out of the darkness, we can't hide

stitch your/my mind amongst the stars
live beyond their forced par
cement existence within glass
crying out "i'll never pass"
when all the while. looking hard,
time was wasted, no regard
for your hope, everything you need
to not get by on naught but greed

wrap your/my soul around the moon
our satellite that shows her wounds
in beauty that been ever praised
alight to all the faults we razed
emmaculate, destroy our youth
and say, "it's wasted, more vermooth"
never thinking what it could be
to show yourself in company

2008-10-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

i've been focused on the start for days
plenty of time to set me in motion
motion, ocean
the tide rides high and low
pulling me out to sea, foundation
a crushing blow

see as she speaks
she tells, retreats

alone, knowing the way of the
world, praying to change the
mold, our lives fit into
unknown, taking a chance in
faith, believing we could be
more, or something better

i've been dreaming so big they can speak
in colors of strength so that they spill over
over an' over
into the life that i lead
feel the embrace of a world born into
a perfect shoe

see as she speaks
she tells, retreats

but do you dream in shades of grey?
or put off living what they say?
leaves you feeling broken
in the life you have chosen
visions came to you
knowing what you do

alone, knowing the way of the
world, praying to change the
mold, our lives fit into
unknown, taking a chance in
faith, believing we could be
more, or something better

adelaide

2008-09-20T13:46:00.000-07:00

the white cursor blinks
on my mind is a stage
all performers alight
they're a hit, it's a rage
come in ringing the bell
knowing we've got it made
sing the chorus so full
"Adelaide, Adelaide"

Adelaide make your mark
with the world on a string
pull the tether so tight
to destroy others dreams
and their lives not to own
but to you they're for sale
Adelaide, you're a product of we

all is red, black, and white
brown and yellow make green
come to play in the attic
never will make a scene
cut the action, take six
miss the point in the fade
zone a mark, it's for failure
Adelaide, Adelaide

2008-09-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

scantily-clad in accessory
filling the lines with hipocracy
the color it makes only fakes the shape
marking time in the parking lot
order it up with a double-shot
we engulf the world we won't escape

if this is life
then let me out
tug on the strings
untie the knot
keeping us scared
so we won't look
the life they make
will fall apart

2008-08-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

Awaken to the real world
meet and greet and say 'hello'
realize it's not so cold
realize it when you're old
Like a child, smell the emptiness outside
but don't care to understand
just know it is -
acknowledges -
Yes, by running free; never tell a lie:
remove another's, preserve your liberty
rock-a-by don't ever stop
keep your home you hear "chop"
Chop your Lockes and give me death
wash the hands that stand abreast
andante raise upon the stand
the lives of all that claim the land
risk your lives for no mans soul
not even righteousness can persevere
Building emptiness in the sand
failing to meet life's demand
Awaken to the real world
meet and greet and say 'hello'
you've never met; wish you'd been told
to realize before you're old

Sleeper

2008-08-07T22:32:00.000-07:00

i'm so tired of feeling low
i've become an unknown
sown below the depths of soul
has grown tired; will work no more

i sing myself to sleep
i lull the night by me
the darkness streams through every bit of light
it's on me to wake up

with my mind i see the wrongs
the debts we pay are forced upon
our very needs have come undone
the few that rule keep us apart

i sing myself to sleep
i lull the night by me
the darkness screams through every bit of light
it's on me to wake up

2008-07-25T00:15:00.000-07:00

Quiet Now
i've fallen prey to sleep
silent now
my body is the keep
holding me
the things remain unseen
Quiet Now

Satellite
play my favorite tune
every night
closer to the moon
spots of white
engulf the evening soon
Satellite

2008-06-27T00:05:00.000-07:00

When all the world escapes me
i just pull up a chair
listen to the space between
and realize that's what i need
in the void i hear the noises
what i feign to listen to
in the everyday anyway
just trying to get by
Complacent, apathetic
to the never-changing all around
never notice, never see
the spark that becomes
When reading looks like a game
seeing more than black on white
but spectrum in eternity
alights upon my head
look for what it means
when it's just circles
finding the constant center-piece

All the time that i've spent here
been staring at the sun
until i sit and take the time
something i'll never know
only when we realize we're blind
can we ever choose to see

2008-05-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

We are too stuck up to think that things could be better here for everyone;
We are too stuck up to think that it should be or is us that need to begin the move towards change;
We are too stuck up to consider multiple solutions to the same problems we see;
We are too stuck up to share credit where credit is due;
We are too stuck up to respect or accept anothers point of view;

rinse...

repeat.

2008-05-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

I took a walk beside myself out in the rain
we chatted closely; sang the songs that slip away
Myself apologized for lack of words to say
the silence slapped my face
but i don't blame it on the rain

We carry fortitude the likes no man has seen
including us, you see, we know not what it means
the gray surrounding us - a new relentless blend
so hard to see the right
but i don't blame it on the rain

on nukes and lard

2008-05-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

America the bountiful
won't share with any man
how much any one life worth
not pennies in their hand
many learn not growing wise
listening to dirty, dirty lies

America the plentiful
hoards all they take away
from 'assets' they've protected
and they take over and stay
told to never trust the truth
no need for proof, no need for proof

their lies are not our own
don't relieve your righteous disbelief
on those who'll understand -
we're doing what we can

America the copious
"God shed His grace on thee"
not a care for all of US
between the "shining seas"
this generation's lost the 'why'
finding bliss in living daily lies

listen hard to all the fluff
that's all there ever is
America the beautiful
the poorest of the rich
told to never trust the truth
no need for proof, no need for proof

throw that love your way
it works like hand-grenades
land it somewhere near
works in spite of fear

your war is not with us

once a gain again

2008-04-03T19:17:00.000-07:00

you're coming alive
is this what you expected?
it's taking the truth away from me
i'm sorry that now it is my time to go
i'm sorry that now i have to leave

but i try
and i fail
when i can
i will

well i'm back again
i stack again the road-blocks in my skull
between the ears lay aches and pain
and lies that bring me
closer to life
or so i believe

fall off track again
we crack minds to feel less crazy
insanity denies the truth
of what we have become
to life
and this i believe

there i go should'n
on the situation